


Home is the sailor, home from the sea

by Sinelaborenihil



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Mass Effect Spoilers, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:54:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24345343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinelaborenihil/pseuds/Sinelaborenihil
Summary: One-off fic where Shepard and Garrus get the happy ending they deserve.
Relationships: Female Shepard & Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Home is the sailor, home from the sea

**Author's Note:**

> This is some fluff that I tidied up from my last Trilogy playthrough. It is pure wish-fulfillment for me, but I hope that you all enjoy it.
> 
> **SPOILERS FOR DESTROY ENDING**

_Reapers Defeated. New Council headquarters Earth._  


The message repeated itself three times before James Vega’s exultant shout broke the stunned silence in the CIC. Other voices quickly joined his and for the first time in what felt like forever, Garrus Vakarian smiled.  


“Keelah,” Tali breathed, sagging into Liara. The two women embraced fiercely, and Garrus could see the tears trickling down Liara’s face.  


“Thank the Goddess,” Liara whispered, reaching one hand out towards Garrus. He wrapped his arms around the two of them and for a moment, allowed the feelings of joy and relief to overwhelm him. 

They had actually done it.  


Four years. It had taken four years for the Normandy to make its way back to the Sol system after the blast that had disrupted the relays. Four years of short rations, of uncertainty, of too little space and too much time to think. If Garrus was honest, most of his thoughts were centered on one topic. Had Shepard survived? The Normandy had been badly damaged in its flight from Earth. The sensitive communications systems were broken leaving them unable to ro receive or transmit long-ranged messages. It had taken entering the Sol system for them to even learn that they’d won the war. There the short-range com buoy had relayed the message:  


_Reapers Defeated. New Council headquarters Earth._  


That worked for the crew of the Normandy who had unanimously voted that Earth would be their first stop no matter what. That had been the location of the final fight. The last place any of them had seen her.  


Garrus stepped back from the hug and hurried toward the cockpit where Joker was grinning broadly. “She did it,” he said. “She fucking did it just like I knew she would.”  


Garrus smiled back at the other man, though he felt a weight on his heart. She had defeated the Reapers, but at what cost?  


“I should have known when EDI…” the smile was gone from Joker’s face as he glanced towards the empty seat where his partner had once sat. He cleared his throat and looked forward as the familiar green and blue planet filled the bow’s windows. “It’s beautiful,” he whispered. His eyes were shiny with tears, but Garrus didn’t comment on it. Instead he rested a gentle hand on his friend’s shoulder.  


“Welcome home,” Garrus said quietly.  


Joker glanced over at him and smiled, though the corner of his mouth trembled just slightly.  


There was a burst of static that made them both jump. “Incoming ship ...Identify yourself.”  


“SSV Normandy, Systems Alliance code 224-101,” Joker replied, quickly regaining his composure.  


“101?” The voice replied. “That’s a pre-reclamation code. Report to docking bay 34B at the Anderson Military Base in Unified London. Sending coordinates now.”  


“Anderson Military Base,” Joker said softly as they entered Earth’s atmosphere. “He’s dead then.”  


Garrus could have offered him a kind lie, but they both knew that the pilot’s assumption was likely correct. Honors like that were generally only awarded posthumously. “He was a great man,” he said. Inwardly he was just glad it wasn’t the Shepard Military Base.  


They touched down without incident, though Garrus did note the two turian fighter jets that escorted them down. He helped Joker stand once the Normandy powered down and together they exited the cockpit and joined their friends by the airlock. Behind them the rest of the crew nervously waited, a breach in protocol that Garrus could hardly deny them. They looked to him now, their faces a mixture of excitement and trepidation. He realized that they were waiting for him to say something.  


He gulped. He hated making speeches. He never understood how Shepard did it so easily. “To the humans aboard, welcome home. To my fellow non-humans, I hope that one day soon I’m able to say the same.” He activated the airlock then and stepped back, wanting to allow the humans to be the first to step foot on their homeworld. To his surprise, none of them stepped forward. He was confused for a moment, but then Engineer Adams cleared his throat. “Joker should be first,” he said. The rest of the crew nodded, grinning up at their pilot.  


“Aw jeez,” Joker murmured, but he was smiling. With Garrus’ help he stepped through the airlock. He let go of Garrus’ shoulder as he crossed the boundary and stepped out into the sunlight. Chakwas appeared at Garrus’ side, her sharp eyes focused on the younger man. She let him have his moment, then stepped forward with Vega who let Joker take his shoulder. The other humans followed behind them. Once the humans had all gone, Garrus followed with Liara, Tali, and Javik. The sky above them was a beautiful, cloudless blue and a gentle breeze caressed his fringe. In the distance he could hear the usual sounds of a military base, the people shouting, motors running, and the occasional bark of rifle fire. It felt so alive, so normal, he couldn’t help but smile. Time was a hell of a thing.  


In front of him the crew had stopped and was milling awkwardly. Garrus walked to the front, worried. Before him stood a handful of humans with a variety of guns all held in a soldier's stance of watchful readiness.  


One of the humans stepped forward, her omnitool flaring to life as she stared up at the ship. “Can it really be?” she breathed. “I’ll be a sonofabitch. The SSV Normandy, back from the dead! Lawrence, has someone informed the admiral?”  


A nervous looking young man opened his mouth to respond when he was cut off by the sound of a revving engine. Garrus glanced towards the sound and felt his heart start to pound so hard it felt it might escape his chest. A Jeep was speeding towards them and there, standing in the front with an enormous smile on her face, was the hero of the galaxy, the woman who’d stolen his heart.  


Shepard.

****  


Shepard was homesick. She would never tell anyone, not with the sheer number of people who had been displaced by the Great War, but she was. She sat in her office staring at the model of the Normandy that Admiral Hackett had given her when she was released from the hospital. She knew that with her extensive injuries she’d never be cleared for front line work again, but damn if she wouldn’t give anything to hear the hum of the powerful engines again.  


“Where are you?” she whispered. It had been four years, going on five now, since the loss of the relays. Four years of worry, work, and rebuilding. Hackett had been right to be hopeful, large sections of the relays were finally coming back online, but still no sign of her ship or her crew.  


“Ma’am?” Lieutenant Whitson’s voice cut into Commander Shepard’s reverie, startling her.  


“John!” Shepard rubbed her eyes and forced herself to smile at the young man. She’d met him on Omega during the hunt for Archangel, stopped him from joining the mercenaries that hunted the elusive turian. When things had heated up with the reapers he’d joined up with the alliance and fate had their paths cross during the rebuilding. He’d begged to be assigned to Shepard, and she couldn’t turn him down. He was a hard worker, applying all of the youthful enthusiasm she’d seen on Omega to any task she’d given him. “Sorry, my mind was somewhere else. Did you say something?”  


His open, expressive face was creased with worry. “I’m sorry ma’am, but...there’s another one.”  


She hissed and rose, wincing as all of her many war wounds protested. “God damn it,” she growled. No matter what the galaxy had been through, people were still people. Everyone knew her association with the Normandy and there were those unscrupulous enough to exploit that. Every couple of weeks there was a new “Normandy”. Sometimes they were just people who wanted a chance to meet her. Sometimes it was people with salvage that they claimed to be a part of her ship. One particularly horrible time there’d been a cruiser with a turian body they claimed to be Garrus. She always handled these requests personally, but not in person. She wasn’t about to reward people for their trickery.  


“Do we have an audio log?” she asked, forcing herself not to get her hopes up. The little flutter in her belly was there every time though.  


Whitson nodded and brought up his omnitool. 

“SSV Normandy, Systems Alliance code 224-101.”  


Shepard gasped. “Joker! Oh my God! Holy shit!” She rounded on her lieutenant, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t even care. “It’s them! Have they landed yet?”  


Whitson shook his head and Shepard forced herself to take a minute to calm down. Her hands were shaking. “I’m going to the landing zone,” she said. “Reschedule any meetings I have. I’m unavailable for the next twenty-four hours.”  


The young man grinned at her and handed her her walking stick. Together they hurried down the corridor to the garage where her jeep was parked. Whitson helped Shepard up into the jeep and then hopped into the drivers seat. His driving was a reflection of his personality and they quickly sped out of the garage in time to see the familiar silhouette of her beloved Normandy make its landing approach.  


“Oh my God,” Shepard whispered past the enormous knot in her throat. “Step on it, Lieutenant, that’s an order!”  


“With pleasure, ma’am,” Whitson replied, slamming his foot down on the accelerator. As they drew closer, Shepard rose, clinging to the support bar on the jeep roof. Her face ached she was smiling so big, and then she caught sight of _him_ and thought that her heart might actually climb out of her throat and run to him. She barely waited for the jeep to stop before she was leaping out, prosthetic be damned. Belatedly she remembered to grab her walking stick, and with it she limped over to her crew as fast as she could. Joker was standing in front of them all, his eyes brimming with tears despite the massive smile on his face.  


“Commander-” he whispered, then lurched forward into her arms. “Oh thank God.” And then he was sobbing and she was sobbing and she felt their friends circling around them.  


“Joker,” she murmured back, hugging him as tightly as she dared. “Fuck, but it’s so good to see you.”  


“You’re telling me,” he managed to say, sounding almost like himself. “Thank you,” he said quietly with un-Joker like sincerity. “Thank you for being ok.”  


Shepard gave him a watery smile. "I'm sorry about EDI," she said quietly. "I wish I could have saved her too." 

"I know, Shepard," Joker said hoarsely. "You did what you could. She'd be glad that you're ok. Amazed, but glad." His smile wobbled. "At least I'd get to hold the fact that you beat her odds over her. She'd _hate_ that." 

Shepard let out a quiet, sad laugh. "We will put up a memorial for her," she promised. 

"Thanks, Shepard," Joker replied, squeezing her hands. He stepped back, glancing over his shoulder. "I'm sure other people want to say hi," he said, raising his chin and giving her a brave smile. 

“Me, for instance,” Tali teased, her smile coming through in her voice. She launched herself at Shepard and Shepard caught her with a startled laugh. 

“Keelah,” Tali said, her slight body trembling with excitement. “Keelah, it is so good to see your face, Shepard.”  


Shepard squeezed the quarian and rested her forehead against Tali’s faceplate. “I’d say the same, but…”  


Tali let out a quiet laugh and then sniffled and pulled back. Liara was next, openly sobbing as she hugged Shepard with surprising strength. Vega was grinning from ear to ear as he swept her up into a hug that made her reconstructed ribs creak, but she didn’t care. Though she didn’t pick Shepard up, Ashley’s hug was equally as rib cracking. Chakwas took Shepard’s face in her hands and stared at her for a long moment before bringing her in for a motherly embrace. 

“My turn,” said a quiet voice.  


Shepard looked up into the gorgeous blue eyes of the man she loved and grinned. “Get in here, big guy.”  


****  


A bad turian he may have been, but Garrus wasted no time in obeying that order. He took her in his arms and lifted her up, pressing his forehead to hers. He wanted to kiss her, but four years was a long time. The crew of the Normandy was most likely assumed dead. He had no right to expect her to wait for him. He met her warm, brown eyes. “What? No kiss?” she whispered. She said it teasingly, but there was a trace of worry there too.  


“I didn’t want to presume,” he whispered, gently rubbing his forehead against hers. “You could be married with a horde of children. Four years is a long time.”  


“Oh Garrus,” she breathed, bringing her hands up to cup his face, her tears leaving glistening tracks down her face. “There is no Shepard without Vakarian. I’ll always be yours.” She swallowed hard. “If-if you still want me.”  


He kissed her then, much to the apparent amusement of the crew if the whoops and claps were any indication. He poured every last drop of his longing, his fear, and his love into the kiss as he crushed her tiny human body to him. Her arms were tight around him as she kissed him back with equal urgency and Garrus felt his lower plates begin to shift. He wanted her with an intensity that scared him a little bit. He forced himself to break the kiss and was gratified to see her panting just a little. He set her down gently, steadying her as she stumbled. He wrapped a proprietary arm around her waist and tugged her into his side. He wasn’t sure he could ever let her go again. She smiled up at him and looked over at the crew, shaking her head.  


“I told them that there was no way the best damn crew in the galaxy had died,” she said, raising her voice just slightly so that everyone could hear her. “Not when they had the best pilot in the universe flying them to safety.” Her voice broke and Garrus could see Joker’s shoulders shaking. “I’m so proud of you all. I’m so grateful to see you. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for coming home to me.” 

She was crying openly then. It took a long time for the rest of the crew to greet her, but Garrus knew that she would make sure that every single person got a moment with her. When the last ensign had hugged her the sun was getting low.  


“You all must be starving,” she said. “And eager to contact your families. I’ll secure housing for everyone who wants to stay on earth. Those of you who want to leave, we have a substantial portion of the Mass Relay network online. If you would like to join me in the meantime, I’d love to buy you all dinner.” There was a good-natured cheer and as though she summoned them, several vehicles pulled up at that moment. The crew piled into the assorted vehicles, though Garrus noted that they were all careful to leave him and Shepard alone. He lifted her into the back of the jeep and hopped up next to her, draping his arm around her shoulders. She snuggled into his side, her hand resting on his thigh. He leaned over and nuzzled her hair, drinking in the scent of her. She let out a quiet sound that made his plates shift again and he tightened his grip on her. There would be time for that later. Though, not much later if he had his way.  


The cars spirited them off to a transport that brought them to a dextro-levo friendly noodle shop where Admiral Hackett stood outside waiting. The older man appeared unchanged, apart from the addition of a cane and a couple of scars. He shook hands with each of them, a wide smile on his face. When he got to Joker he paused. “You did a hell of a thing, son,” he said seriously.  


Joker blushed and swallowed hard, apparently robbed of his usual sass. He thanked the admiral sincerely and hobbled over to sit by Shepard. She motioned for him to sit on her left while Garrus took the right. The rest of the crew arranged themselves across several tables, with Hackett, Tali, Liara, Ashley, Javik, and Vega sitting at Shepard’s. Once they all ordered they fell silent, but it was a comfortable silence. They grinned at each other, just enjoying the feeling of being reunited. Naturally, it was Vega who broke the silence.  


“So what have you been up to, Loca?” he asked cheekily. He glanced over at Hackett, who had raised an eyebrow. “Erm, that is, Commander?”  


“It’s _Admiral_ Shepard now, actually,” Hackett said, chuckling when Shepard made a little noise of protest. “Come on now, Shepard, they were going to find out eventually.”  


“Fair enough, _Counselor_ Hackett,” she retorted. The older man chuckled and raised his hands.  


Vega whistled and the others voiced their congratulations while Garrus squeezed Shepard’s thigh. He’d congratulate her later, privately.  


“There’s no one who deserves that rank more than you, Shepard,” Joker said seriously.  


She smiled at him, her cheeks flushing red. “Thanks, Joker,” she said. “I’m trying to live up to it. I’ve got some big shoes to fill.” Her lips quivered as she looked down at her hands. “Very big shoes.”  


“He didn’t make it,” Joker said, not taking his eyes off of Shepard.  


She shook her head and Garrus could see the shine on her eyes that told him she was close to tears. “I tried to save him,” she said softly.  


“If you had been his own daughter, David couldn’t have been more proud of you, Shepard,” Hackett said, his normally businesslike voice gentle. “He gave his life in the line of duty, and I know that he’d do it again, given the choice.”  


“Thank you, sir,” Shepard said with a sad smile. “I just...I miss him is all.” She raised her wine glass. “To David Anderson, the finest soldier and best mentor that it has ever been my privilege to serve with.”  


“To Anderson,” they all intoned. It got quiet again, a sadder quiet as they all contemplated those who had been lost.  


“He wouldn’t want us to wallow,” Shepard said after a few moments. “Not tonight, of all nights. Not when we’ve finally found each other again.” She smiled at them, swiping at her eyes. It was at that moment that the waiters arrived with their food, and for a time they were all distracted. The crew of the Normandy made absolute gluttons of themselves, but they could hardly be blamed. Rations weren’t known for their flavor.  


Finally, when they were all sated, conversations resumed. Garrus watched Shepard out of the corner of his eye as she chatted easily with their friends. It was amazing to him that after all this time, it felt as though nothing had changed. The ease was there, the camaraderie of countless missions and scrapes with death. After many hours, Joker finally yawned and Shepard glanced down at her omnitool.  


“It’s after midnight!” she exclaimed, glancing at the waitstaff apologetically.  


A young salarian smiled at her. “Not to worry, Admiral,” she said brightly. “It’s our pleasure to host the heroes of the Normandy. Take all the time you need!”  


Shepard smiled back, but rose from her chair with a wince and a quiet hiss of pain. “We should let these lovely folks close up shop,” she said, her voice carrying across the room. There was a general rumble of assent and the sound of many chairs moving as the crew rose and followed Shepard outside. The military vehicles were waiting for them and the process of saying goodbyes took almost as long as the initial greetings. Joker was hanging back, Garrus noticed. He obviously wanted to speak to Shepard alone. Garrus took the hint and walked over to Shepard’s transport. Soon he’d have her all to himself.  


****  


Shepard’s entire body ached after spending so much time sitting, but she could see that there was something Joker wanted to say to her and damn if she was going to make him wait. Once everyone was safely loaded up into their transports with promises to see each other the following day, she caught her former pilot in a gentle embrace and felt a surge of alarm when he started to shake.  


“Jeff,” she murmured, rubbing his back. “It’s ok.”  


He jerked back, tears rapidly tracking down his face. “Shepard I-” his voice gave out as a wracking sob overtook him. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fu-”  


“Jeff,” Shepard said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He caught her hand and squeezed it, not meeting her eyes. “Please...just talk to me.”  


The sobs continued for another few moments before Joker wiped his eyes with his free hand and took a deep, shuddering breath. “Shepard,” he croaked. “Shepard I...I’m so sorry.”  


She frowned for a moment, but then the realization hit her. She pulled him in for another hug. “No,” she whispered to him, holding him tightly. “Joker, you have nothing to be sorry for.”  


“I left you,” he said brokenly. “That’s twice, for those of us keeping track. Twice where I flew away and left you to die.”  


“I gave you an order,” Shepard said.  


“Fuck orders!” Joker pulled back from her, his face filled with regret and sorrow. “I should have refused, should have had Vega drag your ass back up onto the ship so I could bring you with us.”  


“And then the Reapers would have won,” Shepard said gently, aching with the pain she saw writ large across his face. “You did the right thing, Joker. You did what I needed you to do. I couldn’t have gone in-” the swell of memories hit her like a freight train. The piles of bodies, Anderson’s voice guiding her, the Illusive Man, watching Anderson die, the explosion. It left her gasping for air and struggling not to throw up her dinner. It was Joker who reached out this time, tightening his arms around her. “I couldn’t have done what I needed to do if I was worrying about the crew,” Shepard managed to grit out. “But I knew they were safe with you. That’s why I never let them put up a memorial for the Normandy. I knew in my heart that you were out there protecting them and bringing them home to me.”  


“Oh Shepard,” Joker whispered, leaning his head against hers. “I don’t deserve that.”  


“That and more,” Shepard said firmly. “You have nothing to apologize to me for, Jeff. I swear that to you on Anderson’s memory.” 

“I dream about it every night,” Joker said quietly. “I see you ejecting my escape pod when the Collectors attacked. I hear you ordering me to get the Normandy to safety during the battle for Earth. All this time I’ve just felt like I failed you. And the crew...they’re so fucking _nice_ to me. They call me a hero, thank me for saving them, and all I could think about was flying away and leaving you to burn. I don’t feel like a goddamn hero.”  


“You are,” Shepard said, pulling back and resting her forehead against his. “You are a hero to them, and to me, and I’m so fucking proud of you that it hurts. Please don’t keep beating yourself up. You did the right thing. The thing I ordered you to do. The thing that I would have done. And look,” she tilted his chin up, forcing him to meet her eyes. “I’m right here. I’m alive and well and thrilled that tomorrow night we are going to play some Skillian Five and I’m going to take all your money.” 

Joker choked out a laugh then and the two embraced a final time. “Thank you,” he whispered.  


“Welcome home,” she whispered back. She helped him over to his transport and gave his hands a gentle squeeze once he was settled. He squeezed back and grinned at her and Shepard could have sworn that she could see the weight that had been lifted from him. The transport took off, leaving her alone with her turian.  


“I can set you up in a nice hotel,” she said to him with a small smile.  


Garrus closed the distance between them in four steps and swept her off her feet and into his arms. “The hell you will,” he growled, carrying her over to their transport. Thankfully it was an automated one, which meant there was no one to see him sit down with her in his lap turned so she was straddling him. The transport took off as he claimed her lips with a searing kiss, his talons digging into her backside. Shepard groaned into the kiss, her entire body coming alive with the sensation of his body against her. But a sudden creak in her knee followed by a lance of pain had her gasp, breaking the kiss.  


“What’s wrong?” Garrus asked, his eyes wide and alarmed. “I’ve hurt you!”  


Shepard wriggled off of his lap with a curse, the area between her legs protesting that choice while her knee protested the movement. “You’re fine,” she hissed, reaching down and massaging her knee. “It’s the damn prosthetic. It doesn’t like being bent that far.”  


“Prosthetic?”  


Shepard nodded, suddenly self-conscious. She looked well enough when she was dressed, but what would he think of the absolute ruin that she was when she was naked? She was saved from the dark thoughts by their arrival at her apartment. She led Garrus in and had to smile when he let out a low whistle.  


“I was sleeping in my office up until about eight months ago,” she said. “But eventually I couldn’t stall any longer. They were building this building from scratch so...I asked them to make me Anderson’s apartment.” She looked around and felt the sad smile on her face. “Apart from the Normandy, this is the closest that I had to a home.”  


****  


“You’re my home,” Garrus said quietly, pulling her in for another kiss. This one was a lot more gentle and he could feel Shepard melting into him. Her hands reached up to stroke his fringe and he broke the kiss, leaning back into her touch with a contented purr.  


“You’re mine,” she whispered. They kissed again and then Shepard took his hand.“Come on,” she said, leading him to her room. This was mostly unchanged from how he remembered Anderson’s apartment, but for the addition of a massive fish tank on one wall. He chuckled when he saw it.  


Shepard grinned at him. “Old habits,” she said with a shrug. He saw her take a deep breath. “I-” she swallowed hard. “Are you sure that you want this? As you said, four years is a long time. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”  


“You have to be joking,” Garrus said, stalking towards her. He saw her eyes widen and she took a small step back before jerking her chin up defiantly. “I’ll tell you what, Shepard, I’m going to kiss you again and when I’m done, you tell me if it feels like a kiss from a man who doesn’t want you or if it feels like a kiss from a man who is going to throw you down on that bed and have his way with you.”  


She gave the most delicious little gasp and that was all Garrus needed. He closed the distance between them and jerked her into his arms, pressing his mouth plates to her lips harder than he ever had before. His tongue teased her lips open, caressing them and working its way inside to tangle around hers. She was moaning into the kiss, rocking her body against him, and he reached down and squeezed her ass hard. He broke the kiss and looked down at her. “Well?”  


“Un-” Shepard was panting. “Understood.”  


Garrus chuckled and released her, looking down at her. His visor told him that her heart rate was elevated and he could smell what he remembered as the scent of her arousal. But he had to be sure. "Is this what you want?" he asked, reaching for her hand. "We don't have to jump back into bed together," he said. He gave a wry chuckle. "No matter how good that sounds." 

She smiled at him. "I never stopped wanting you," she said quietly. "I'm yours, Garrus. I'm just..." she let out a chuff of laughter. "Nervous, I suppose. You were the last person to see me naked and that was before..." she trailed off. 

"What are you worried about?" he asked. He took her hand and gently brought it to the front of his pants so she could feel how hard his cock already was hard for her. "Surely you can't doubt that I want you." 

"Easy to say _now_ before you've seen all of me," she said, looking down. 

Her self-consciousness broke his heart. Even if _she_ doubted, _he_ knew that he would want her no matter what. "Shepard, look at me," he said. She looked up, her amber eyes wide. "Do you trust me?" he asked. 

She nodded. 

He brought her hand to his face and kissed it, his eyes locked on hers. “Undress,” he ordered quietly. "For me." 

She shivered and took a deep breath before nodding. Slowly, her eyes never leaving his, she unbuttoned her informal uniform top and let it drop to the ground. She was wearing only a bra underneath it, but for once Garrus wasn’t distracted by the tempting treats the garment contained. Instead he found himself staring at the evidence of just how lucky she was to be alive.  


Her torso had always been scarred, but now it looked as though a thresher maw had chewed her up, spat her into a minefield, where she’d been set upon by varren. A massive scar wound down from her shoulder, between her breasts and across her abdomen, criss crossed by other livid scars. Her left arm was prosthetic from just above where the elbow used to be, and the area around her shoulder was twisted by another thick scar. She reached back with her good hand and unfastened the bra, letting it fall to the ground as well. The shiny flesh of a healed burn covered the entirety of her left breast and part of the right.  


“Should I keep going?” Shepard asked, a note of such uncertainty in her voice that it felt like someone was squeezing Garrus’ heart. “I understand if you don’t want-”  


“Take off your pants,” Garrus croaked. “I want to see all of you.”  


She nodded and quickly undid the button that held her trousers closed, sliding them and her underwear down in one swift, decisive moment. Her lower half was as scarred as the top, and her left leg was a prosthetic from the knee down.  


“Well,” Shepard said, her eyes on the ground. “This is me.”  


Garrus crossed to her and took her chin gently in his hand. He lifted it, forcing her to look at him. “Spirits,” he whispered, his thumb caressing her cheek. She gasped as he leaned down and kissed her neck, his tongue delicately tracing the thin scar that crossed alarmingly close to where he knew a vital vein lay.  


“It’s not...I’m not...hideous?” she asked.  


“You’re perfect,” Garrus whispered, meaning every word. “Every scar, every burn, everything...they are all a reflection of the indomitable woman that you are. The woman I treasure. The woman I adore. You are the most beautiful woman in the galaxy to me, Shepard.”  


Then, before she could respond or argue, he tossed her onto the bed, startling a laugh out of her. He prowled towards her, a lascivious grin on his face as she scooted towards the headboard, her eyes wide.  


“Garrus Vakarian,” she said, trying not to gasp as he grabbed a hold of her ankle. “You’ve come a long way from the awkward turian who couldn’t stop calibrating the thanix cannon.”  


“I survived the end of the universe,” he said seriously. He held her eyes for a moment before he grinned at her, baring his long, conical teeth. “Knowing that you still want me, what is there for me to be scared of?” his hands tightened as he slid up her legs. He darted his long tongue out, tasting her thighs. She reached down to caress his fringe. “Garrus,” she whispered.  


He nuzzled up, pressing his face into the delicious seam between her legs. “Shepard,” he whispered, before his long, agile tongue worked its way between her delicate folds.  


She groaned, arching her back up and pressing her most intimate spaces into his mouth. She ground into him, gasping his name as her hips worked almost of their own accord. “Garrus,” she heard herself whimper. “PLEASE!” His mandibles flared as he moaned. He felt the intense urge from earlier rise up within him. He wanted to take her with a brutality that was foreign to him. It had been _years_. He needed her. But he knew from experience that his size would be too much for her if he took her like he wanted. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. He set his teeth into the soft flesh of her inner thigh and grinned to himself as she spread herself wider for him with a dreamy smile. “Please,” she whispered.  


He couldn’t have denied her even if he wanted to. He slid his tongue out, tasting the damp well that awaited him. She groaned, arching her back and leaving herself wide open for him. Unable to stop himself, he reached up and grabbed her hips, digging his talons into her pliant flesh. His tongue delved deeper, and the taste of her brought back sweet memories of quiet nights aboard the Normandy. 

She was here, she was safe, and they were together again.  


The feeling of her moving reminded him of one of the important lessons those nights had taught him and he withdrew his tongue from her and wrapped it instead around the little bundle of nerves at the top of her slit. The sound she made came close to sending him over the edge.  


“Garrus,” she moaned, her strong legs wrapping around his cowl. Then, he felt her stiffen. Alarmed, he looked up at her.  


“Shepard?”  


She was looking down at him, her face stricken. He felt her legs loosen and suddenly he realized what was wrong. Gently, he reached up and stroked his hands over both of her legs, pressing his mouth plates in a series of small nips and kisses along her inner thighs. “You’re perfect,” he said quietly. He held her eyes while he touched her from her inner thighs down to her ankles, not hesitating as his hands went from smooth flesh to the cool structure of her prosthetic. He could feel her tense just slightly and he pressed a kiss to the prosthetic. “Still trust me?”  


He saw her swallow hard and nod, letting her head fall back into the pillows. “Yes,” she said softly.  


Garrus responded by taking his time, slowly trailing kisses from her inner thighs down to her ankles. He held her eyes while he kissed the prosthetic and he saw them grow shiny with tears. He licked up slowly, never taking his eyes from hers.  


“You are everything I’ve ever wanted,” he said, as he made his way back up to her inner thighs. He grinned at her, knowing that the rakish expression always did something to her. “And more importantly,” he nipped her hard enough to leave a mark and make her whimper. “You’re _mine_.”  


She moaned at that, parting her thighs further. “So what would you have done if I was actually married with a ‘hoard of children’?”  


He couldn’t help himself, a growl rumbled its way up from his chest. He slid his tongue out and wrapped it around her clit, sucking it into his mouth. Her fingers clenched around his fringe as she arched up and rocked against him. He’d had ideas about pushing her to the brink, taking his time, making her beg and plead for him. But the thought of another man touching her so intimately pushed him past any sensibility.  


He was relentless pushing her towards her pleasure, his long, nimble tongue caressing and sucking on her tender clit. He took his finger and, after double checking to make sure that his talon was filed down, slid it into her and crooked it towards himself. She bucked against him with a wild yell and then went still. The muscles in her belly and thighs began to tremble and she suddenly grew quiet apart from her rapid intakes of breath. “Garrus,” she whispered his name like a prayer. “Oh God, Garrus please, please, please, please, I’m-I’m-”  


He sucked her harder, the pad of his finger rubbing against the rough place inside of her. He felt her body still and then begin to spasm wildly as she screamed his name so loudly that if they’d been aboard the Normandy he would have worried that they’d heard it down in engineering. As it was, he just grinned and pressed her, knowing that if he pushed her past that initial sensitivity that he could send her over the edge again. Her body obviously remembered him and after the initial gasps and sobs for him to stop she grew quiet again. Her whole body tensed and then she was thrashing again. She tasted so good that he could have stayed there between her legs for hours more, but her hands were insistent on his fringe, tugging him upwards.  


He slid up her body, hearing her gasp at the cool roughness of his plates against her sensitive skin. “ _Mine_ ,” he growled when he reached her ear.  


She let out a breathless little laugh and nodded. “Completely,” she said as she pressed her forehead to his. She nudged him and he reluctantly rolled to the side, letting out a moan of his own as she rolled on top of him. “But that goes both ways,” she said, positioning herself so that her slit rubbed against his exposed length. She moaned, trailing her fingertips from his cowl down to his waist. Her eyes, the eyes that had come to mean love and adventure and security and lust narrowed as they met his. “You're mine too, Garrus.”  


He tightened his grip on her waist, meeting her intense look with one of his own. “And what do you plan to do with me, _Admiral_?”  


She growled as deeply as any turian and slid down, removing her delicious warmth and making him groan at the loss. Her eyes were bright and mischievous as she slithered down, dragging her lips over the rim of his cowl and down to the sensitive skin of his waist. He saw her small, pink tongue dart out and shuddered as it's warmth touched him. She took her time, licking him wherever the plates receded. She worked her way down at a frustrating pace, until she looked up at him from between his legs. She was laying down on her belly, her weight resting on her good arm, when she leaned in and roughly dragged her tongue from the base of his cock up to the tip. Garrus rarely swore, but as her lips engulfed him he heard himself whisper: “Fuck, Shepard!”  


****  


His voice alone sent an intense ripple of pleasure through her, and Shepard felt herself shudder as she pushed herself to take his cock deeper into her mouth. His groans made her already sensitive clit throb as she sucked up and down. She felt his talons grasp her hair and pull tight. She glanced up and saw that his piercing eyes were fixed on her. She smiled up at him, slowly letting his cock slip out of her mouth.  


“Shepard,” he moaned, his hips rocking against her. “I need you,” his words were cut off as she slammed her mouth down around him, taking as much into his mouth as she could, her hand reaching up to clench around the base of his cock. She felt him bucking against her, his words trailing off into a series of growls. She sucked up and down, her hand mimicking her mouth around his base. She would have happily sucked until he came but suddenly she felt him moving to sit up. Before she could react he’d lifted her into his lap like they had been sitting in the cab. Unlike the cab, there was space on the bed for her to stretch her legs out and she did, lazily draping her arms over his shoulders.  


“Didn’t you want me to keep going?” she asked playfully.  


He nipped her shoulder, startling a laugh out of her. “We have time,” he said, and she heard the roughness in his subvocals that spoke of the emotion he felt at that simple statement. “For now, Shepard, I need to feel you. I need-”  


She kissed him then, slowly lowering her body down until she felt the tip of his cock pressing against her slick entrance. “Me too,” she whispered, breaking the kiss. They moved together, her lowering herself slowly as he took hold of her hips and rocked his body up. He slid into her, filling her with one thrust.  


“Garrus!” she gasped.  


“Shepard,” he whispered back, pressing his forehead against hers. “My love, my mate.”  


“Thank you-” she lost her words in a whimper as he rocked into her, setting a steady rhythm. “Thank you for coming home to me. I’ve missed you so much.”  


His hands were gentle as he stroked her back. “I missed you,” he said, the sadness obvious in his subvocals. “It was torture not knowing if you survived.” He leaned back and pressed his mouth plates to her lips. “I love you,” he said when they broke the kiss. “More than anything.”  


“I love you,” Shepard said, her eyes watering. “There’s not a single day that has gone by that I haven’t worried about you. Wondered where you were.” The tears began to flow as she thought about all the lonely nights where she’d wrap her arms around herself and sob herself to sleep wondering where her family was. She tightened her grip on his cowl. “I _knew_ you were alive though.” _Mostly_ , she thought with a shudder.  


“You’re damn right,” he growled at her. “I had to get back to you. You though, you have a history of dying. I won’t pretend I wasn’t scared.” With that he flipped her over onto her back, towering over her as he slammed into her hard enough that she saw stars. “It’s clear to me that I can’t-” he grunted, thrusting harder. “I can’t leave you alone for even a second!”  


Shepard couldn’t keep from giggling as she draped her legs over his hip spurs. “I am ok with you sticking close by.” Her laughter was lost in a gasp as he grabbed her bad leg and draped it over his elbow, bending her in half. His eyes were wide and feral as he looked down at her and slammed his cock as deep as it would go. “Garrus please-”  


“Please what?” he growled down at her, not slowing or relenting at all.  


“Claim me,” she said, the words leaving her lips before she even thought about it. She’d meant to ask for it before the end of the war. She knew in a general sense what it meant, just exactly what it was she was asking for.  


He froze. “Shepard,” he whispered, releasing her leg and nuzzling into her neck.  


She stroked his neck and his fringe, hearing his rumble of pleasure resonating through his keelbone. Had she misjudged? Was it too soon?  


He pulled back, his pale blue eyes fixing on hers. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” he asked, one of his talons coming up to stroke her cheek.  


Shepard leaned into his hand, kissing his palm. “Truthfully?” she blushed. “I’ve wanted it since you walked up like nothing had happened on Menae. The way you took my hand, the way you looked at me. If you’d thrown me over the console right then I don’t think I’d have stopped you.”  


“Hmmmmm,” Garrus growled, his long tongue snaking out to caress her ear. “If only you’d said something.”  


She arched up, moaning. “Would you have done it right there in front of the general? In front of the Primarch?”  


“Maybe,” he grunted, sliding back into her. He filled her slowly, lovingly. “I definitely should have claimed you when I had the chance.”  


“You have the chance now,” Shepard said. She swallowed hard and turned her head, baring the junction between her neck and shoulder to him. “I’m yours, Garrus.”  


****  


Her words hit him right in his gut and awakened something primal and dark in him. He heard himself groaning her name as he sheathed himself fully in her. “You’re damn right you are,” he said, kissing her again. “ _All_ mine. Forever.”  


Her gorgeous amber eyes fixed on his. “Forever,” she agreed.  


His heart thudded behind his keelbone as he leaned in and gently licked the area she had bared to him. He felt like he should say something, something to mark the irrevocable step that they were taking, but no words came to him. He leaned in and flared his mandibles. “I love you,” he said softly, and then he bit down. It wasn’t one of his playful nips. It was an intense, powerful bite, the bite of a predator. He tasted the copper of her blood and felt her little body arch up into him.  


“Garrus-” her words were lost in a gasp as he maintained the pressure as he resumed thrusting in and out. Her blunt nails scraped the sensitive skin of his waist as she wrapped her legs around his hip spurs. He could feel her pulse quickening, and could feel the tightness in his belly that told him he wasn’t going to last much longer.  


“I’m yours,” she whimpered, rocking her hips and clenching the muscles that gripped him tight. He could feel the ripples within her that told him that she was close to the edge and he snarled as he reached between them to stroke her clit. She wailed his name and began to thrash wildly as his fingers sent her over the edge. The combination was enough to do the same to him. With a snarl he came, the rhythm of his hips stuttering as he just barely managed to pull out to finish on her stomach. He released her shoulder and licked the blood that pooled up from the bite marks.  


_I have a bondmate_ , he thought with wonder. He slid off of her and took her in his arms, whispering quiet endearments to her.  


****  


Shepard wasn’t sure how long they lay there before Garrus suddenly rolled off of the bed and lurched to his feet. She propped herself up on her elbow, alarmed. “What’s wrong?”  


He was rifling through his clothes, his brow furrowed. “There’s something I need to do,” he said quietly. “I...I meant to do it before we went back to Earth, but I...I didn’t want to jinx us. Ah! There it is!” He pulled something out of a pocket and took a deep breath. He looked at her, and as inscrutable as turians usually were, his fear was written all over his face. He returned to the bed, his fist clenched, and sat down. He reached forward with his other hand and stroked the fresh wound on her shoulder. It hurt like hell, but she didn’t move. She could sense how important it was to him.  
He cleared his throat. “Shepard, you have given me the most precious gift that anyone could have ever given me. I-I want to do something of equal value for you...and since your teeth can’t pierce my plates…” He held out his hand and Shepard heard herself gasp.  


There on his palm were two coppery rings, one large and one smaller. “I-Turians don’t generally wear a lot of jewelry,” he said, the adorable, awkward man she’d fallen for in full evidence. “But I wanted you to have some way of claiming me as yours. I should have given it to you sooner. They’re made from compressed ores from both Palaven and Earth. If they aren’t-”  


“They’re beautiful,” she heard herself whisper. “When…?”  


“While you were under house arrest,” he said a little bashfully.  


“Oh Garrus,” she said, reaching out and caressing his face. “That long?”  


He chuckled quietly as he slipped back into bed with her and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Honestly, Shepard, I’ve loved you for so long it’s almost embarrassing.”  


“I’m glad I’m not the only one,” she replied, reaching out and taking the larger ring from him. She looked up into his eyes as she slid it over his middle finger, grinning as he put hers on her left ring finger.  


“I’m yours,” he said quietly. “I love you, Shepard.”  


“I love you too,” she replied, leaning in to kiss him again. He leaned back, pulling her on top of him and it felt like the most natural thing in the world to sink down onto his cock again. He groaned and grasped her hips, his talons pressing into her skin. They spent the rest of the night getting reacquainted, finally collapsing in a panting heap together. She snuggled into his embrace, loving the gentle strength of his arms.  


“I’m so glad that I didn’t have to wait,” Garrus said sleepily, nuzzling her hair.  


“For what?” she murmured.  


“To meet you at the bar,” Garrus said, his voice thick with emotion.  


Shepard looked up at him and felt her eyes prickle with tears. “Me too,” she replied, kissing him. She caressed his damaged mandible, giving him a smile that only wobbled a little bit. “Welcome home, Garrus.”


End file.
